I always wanted kids. Just not as quickly as some of the girls I was friends with in college and after graduation. Being a mom was something I looked forward to. But being a stay at home mom intimidated me.
I went through several years in this insecurity. I remember taking care of my nephew when he was a few months old. I loved the cuddle time, taking him on a walk, and laying on the floor among a sea of musical toys. But it did not come naturally. I remember thinking, “I could not do this all day.” The morning and afternoon went by slow and I was looking forward to returning to the refuge of my office the next morning.
A few years later I was working at an after school care program in a Christian school. There was this sweet little blonde headed girl whose hair was nearly white. Her face lit up a room and I loved the days she was schedule to be in “after school care.” One afternoon I arrived out on the playground rounding up my school kids. She came racing toward me with excitement in her voice, “Mrs. T! Mrs T! Guess what?” she yelled.
“What?” I answered.
“I’m not coming to After School Care anymore! My mom quit her job and decided to stay home with me!” she declared.
I was sad to see her go, but excited for the afternoons gained with her mom. I did not have kids at the time, but that incident always stayed on my mind.
I have been a stay at home mom now for six years. God has molded me into someone less selfish and more selfless. Someone less prideful and more humble. Someone less self-centered and more
sacrificial. Someone less restless and discontent and more peaceful. God used all three of my children, my husband, and several mentors and mom friends on “my stay at home mom” journey. I know not everyone can be a stay at home. I realize it is not possible due to many different circumstances. For myself, I relish the new things I gained and not focus on what I left behind.